More than a feeling: Emotional intelligence helps attract, retain workers

Scottsdale, Ariz. — With the ongoing challenges of solving the labor shortage and filling the skills gap, companies are placing a higher emphasis on hiring and promoting employees based on personality and emotional intelligence. According to a national survey by CareerBuilder of more than 2,600 hiring managers and human resources professionals, 71 percent said they value emotional intelligence, or EQ, in an employee more than IQ.

Employees with emotionally intelligent managers are four times less likely to leave their jobs, per an April 2023 Niagara Institute report. Additionally, poor communication accounts for more than 70 percent of business errors, according to a 2021 Gartner Research report.

Hillary Thomas, vice president of Westminster Tool, 2023 honoree for Women Breaking the Mold and a 2021 Rising Star, explored the topic of EQ for her breakout session, "Using Emotional Intelligence to Manage Successfully," during the Women Breaking the Mold Networking Forum, held Nov. 13-14 in Scottsdale.

In her presentation, Thomas defined emotional intelligence has "being aware of, controlling and expressing one's emotions and handling interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically."

The pyramid of emotional intelligence starts at the bottom with self-awareness then moves upward with self-regulation, empathy, motivation and then social skills at the top. "You cannot jump to motivation and social skills if you don't have self-awareness," Thomas explained.

Self-awareness is the recognition and understanding of one's own emotions, preferences, strengths and limitations. It is practiced with mindfulness, communication and learning preferences, recognizing shortcomings, and being aware of triggers and activation.

"Identify your shortcomings and get better at it," she said. "You can't be the smartest person in the room."

Thomas realized in her self-awareness that when she's angry, she gets warm in the chest. "When I feel warm, I know to keep my mouth closed," she said, adding that she writes down what she wants to say, takes a minute to recoup, then decides how to proceed. One session attendee later mentioned she didn't realize it until Thomas' presentation that her hands get warm when she's upset.

Self-regulation is the awareness of the impact of one's emotions on others, learning to manage them and expressing the emotions appropriately. Self-regulation is practiced with staying composed and patient, adapting to change and being curious of others' needs. "Regulating does not mean suppressing," Thomas added.

Empathy and sympathy are not interchangeable and often confused with each other, Thomas said: "I cannot stress this enough: Empathy is not sympathy." Empathy is "I understand how you feel," while sympathy is "I feel bad for you." Practicing empathy includes providing support to someone who is struggling or guidance when someone looks confused.

"Motivation isn't just wanting a good job or good title; it's having passion to fulfill your inner needs and goals," Thomas said. This includes staying positive and resilient or seeking out information and solutions.

Social skills utilize other parts of EQ to effectively communicate and interact with others via active listening and body language. Employees can practice social skills by understanding customers' needs or coaching others.

Plainfield, Conn.-based Westminster Tool is a custom injection mold builder for plastics and medical manufacturing that was honored as a Plastics News Best Place to Work in 2023. Thomas' father, Ray Coombs Jr., founded the company in 1997.

When Westminster Tool started to make a culture shift in 2014, it had 20 employees with an average age of 52. Profit was slim to nonexistent. Thomas said there was neither cross-functional communication nor conflict resolution in place, and her father was "sacrificing a lot for little in return." There were limited repeat sales, and the average employee workweek was more than 50 hours.

There was turnover of about 60 percent, and Coombs even had to let go people who were in his wedding party, Thomas said.

The company brought on a coach to create an organization that not only wanted to manufacture great tools but also made a difference. "None of my siblings wanted to work for the family business until the culture changed," Thomas said.

EQ in action at Westminster includes the DISC (dominant, inspiring, supportive or cautious) model for understanding personality and communication preferences; brain training; having crucial conversations to reflect and digest; and employee onboarding with global orientation and team training. The company once did an afterhours training session with employees' spouses so they could learn as well.

From 2014-16, company metrics did not change and "we struggled" during that time, Thomas said. EQ was implemented in 2017, and by 2018, Westminster Tool's numbers started to trend upward. The company also experienced improved internal and external customer service.

Employees spend at least 75 minutes per week on training, improvements and communication.

Today, the company has 30 employees with the average age of 33. One-third of employees are women. Westminster has two facilities totaling 24,000 square feet, including 17 computer numerically controlled machines and four injection mold presses.

Thomas added that there's a consistent cash flow and profit margin to reinvest in the business, and 60 percent of sales are from repeat business. "The best way to know you're doing something right is getting repeat business," she said.

Employees now enjoy a work week of 45 hours — "most work weeks are actually 42-45 hours a week," she said — with self-managed schedules. Staff members can go to their child's sporting events or attend other commitments. "None of that happened until we implemented emotional intelligence," she added.

Thomas said the family would not be working together had their father not implemented these changes; she mentioned that employees' wives said it helped save their marriages.

At the end of her presentation, Thomas offered some mindfulness practices for session attendees. First was the Three Breaths Practice. On the first deep breath, attendees grounded themselves and focused on relaxing. On the second, they asked themselves how they feel, such as anxious, inspired or tired. On the third, they asked themselves what is most important right then in that moment.

"It just helps center you," one audience member said. "If you're having a hectic moment, it gives your brain time to get it out."

Attendees also practiced body scans and box breathing. "Start at your head, go down your cheeks and your shoulders. Do they feel tight or warm? Is your stomach bubbling? Are you clenching your fingers? Are you tapping your feet? Take three more breaths and see if you can feel the emotion that this triggering event brought up," Thomas said.

Audience members shared triggering and frustrating work experiences and put themselves in the shoes of the other person. "Thinking back to the triggering event, try to put yourself in their shoes. What emotions are they feeling? What is going on in their lives?" Thomas asked.

"You do not know what is somebody's iceberg," she said during the empathy practice. "You do not know who's going through a divorce. You do not know who can't afford their bills."